SUA to Merge with Boys School in 2023?

by RORY BRADLEY '22

Enjoy The Light's special April 1 edition!

As many of you heard, SUA is merging with another private school in the fall of 2023. And not just any private school - an all boys catholic high school. Some may be excited that it will be just like grade school. Others may dread having to deal with their unthoughtful actions and lack of maturity. Below is a paraphrased interview with Mr. Moran answering all of the pressing questions you may have.


To begin with the biggest question of them all, why? Why would expanding our SUA community be a good idea? According to the administration, adding 500 boys to the school would be very beneficial. We would be able to expand our campus to make it more “college-like” and give those the opportunity to walk two miles to and from each class within our five minute switching bell.


SUA is significantly expanding Keller as well! It’s projected that Skyline will ban students within the first six months due to “loud, unbearable noise” and an “intolerable amount” of new students. The new apartments going up across the street from Keller will be SUA owned and turned into Keller 2.0!


School will go from 6am-1pm to give clubs and sports an opportunity to meet. New clubs will be added just for the young men like “How to Treat Women Respectfully,” and a manners course to teach the boys how to chew with their mouths closed.


Besides the school itself expanding, our friendships would expand as well. As we begin to see an end to the COVID-19 pandemic, hanging out with friends from many different schools may be difficult due to the lack of being able to meet new people. Expanding the SUA student body would benefit all of us in being able to make an entire new group of friends. Don’t you miss the friendly atmosphere of grade school? The boys are back to make any drama with our friends even worse! But don’t worry, Mr. Moran says, “You’ll barely notice the boys.” The new addition of recess will help the boys’ short attention spans process what is going on in and outside of school.

One downside for us is a stricter reinforcement on uniforms. We wouldn't want to distract the boys in any way, so our skirts will have to be below the knee and a uniform polo must be worn fully buttoned. Research says cowboy boots are not only very fashionable, but safe for any situation life may throw at you. Because of this, blue cowboy boots will be added to the uniform list. Our uniform fittings will be held next fall!


Many of you may be wondering what school is going to join SUA in 2023, and Mr. Moran has that answer. The original plan was just for St. Xavier high school to merge, but after thoughtful consideration, Elder high school will also be joining us! “The addition of one school just isn't enough,” says Mr. Moran. Our colors will remain the same, along with our mascot and our beloved cheers.


Administration is very excited about welcoming the boys, so let’s try our best to take them in with open arms. Hopefully this clears any confusion and questions you had about the merge!