New SUA Classes!
Enjoy The Light's special April 1 edition!
The “common core curriculum” has become a staple in almost every school around the nation, including our very own SUA. However, after many board meetings, the SUA administration has determined that our curriculum should be expanded to include some necessary (albeit “out-there”) classes for the wellbeing of the students. Continue reading below to find out which new classes will be offered next year!
Parking 101: Mr. Fleming
While you might think that this class is geared towards newly-licensed sophomores, some upperclassmen could really benefit from this course as well. We will cover topics such as how to back into a parking spot and parallel parking, as well as where NOT to park (i.e. in front of “no parking” signs, within 15 feet of a fire hydrant, etc.)
Intro to Dancing: JP
Are you a freshman who is gearing up for semi-formal, but nervous about the dancing aspect of the night? Have no fear! JP’s Intro to Dancing class covers all of the skills that one needs to successfully impress your classmates (and their dates!) during the sweaty yet fun-filled night in the SUA gym that is freshman semi-formal.
Basic Computer Care Tips: Mr. Domontay (Devon)
This course should be a prerequisite for all SUA students given that every single one of us is guilty of some kind of grievance against our tablets. Whether you’ve spilled an entire iced coffee on your keyboard, dropped it down a flight of stairs, or forgotten to shut it down for weeks (even months) on end, Basic Computer Care Tips will help you to turn over a new leaf and create a safer environment for your tablet.
Rocks for Jocks: Mr. Porter (guest appearance from Monsieur Icsman)
Are you interested in science, but have no interest in your typical classroom setting? Look no further than Rocks for Jocks! This class combines outdoors skills with a passion for searching for interesting geological finds and fossils. This was also Monsieur Icsman’s favorite class in college and so he will make a special guest visit and discuss common rocks found in France!
Limits and Where We Find Them: Ms. Depoe
Have you ever been doing your math homework and wondered why Jimmy is buying 37.6 watermelons? Or why Sanja has 2.3 teeth? Find these answers and more in Ms. Depoe’s new elective in which you will recreate every math problem that you solve in real life!
Good Boys and Adorable Puppies: Angelo
You’ve heard of Bad Girls and Unruly Women, but resident service dog, Angelo, is now introducing the elective Good Boys and Adorable Puppies! Learn about different famous dogs throughout history, such as Scooby Doo, Snoopy, and the Saint Ursula Bulldog and meet various local dogs on your adventures throughout Cincinnati’s dog parks.
Oh Hey There...Uh...You: Ms. Kramer
It’s a scenario we’re all familiar with: you’re walking down the hall when someone you vaguely recognize says hi to you, but for the life of you, you just cannot remember their name. Leave this awkward nightmare behind with Ms. Kramer’s new elective where you will learn everyone’s name in the school, their entire family tree, their star sign, what they ate for dinner that night, and more! Ms. Kramer has made knowing people’s names and their passions into an art form, and she is now excited to share her tips and wisdom with SUA students! With these skills, you’ll be the coolest kid in the hallway!